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By Jeb Wright
Sex,
drugs and rock ‘n roll – especially drugs – have been a part of
former Tesla guitar player Tommy Skeoch’s life since he started
getting high at twelve years of age. Tommy has struggled
with an addiction to heroin for years and still struggles to
stay sober.
He has been attempting to clean up since 1995 but he has never
been able to make it more than a year. Along with his addiction
comes plenty of dysfunction. One of the worst professions a
drug addict can have is to be a rock star. With the job title
comes temptation, access and acceptance to chemical abuse and a
whole buffet of trouble to get into with few consequences to
pay.
Skeoch
found fame with the band Tesla and played “Signs,” “What You
Give,” “Love Song” and “Song & Emotion” nightly to packed
crowds. He became an MTV darling and one of the most popular
personalities in the band. Internal strife eventually broke up
Tesla. When rumors of a reunion came true legions of fans
celebrated as Tesla was back with all five original members.
Unfortunately, Skeoch, despite repeated efforts at rehab, could
not stay sober. The band actually became co-dependents in his
addiction and policed his behavior. More than once I have been
at a backstage meet and greet where vocalist Jeff Keith came in
before Tommy and let people know not to offer Tommy any drugs of
alcohol.
Tommy
stayed sober on the road and played sober on stage but after the
shows he would get high. The band tired of him relapsing and
his using finally came to a head and he found himself out of the
band. A settlement between the remaining members of Tesla and
Tommy was reached and a replacement player found. The official
word was that he retreated to Florida to spend more time with
his family and new born son but the truth was much more
complicated.
Skeoch
has taken his time away from the band to create music that Tesla
would not allow and is now back with a new album titled Freak
Bucket that is only available on his
MySpace page. The music
and lyrics are fueled by Tommy’s struggle to recover from his
addiction. No one, including Skeoch, can predict what tomorrow
or even the next few hours will bring to his life. He may stay
sober and he may return to active addiction. The only thing for
sure is that he is treading on fragile ground trying to come to
terms with who he really is. He says he is okay with not
touring and no longer being a member of Tesla but beyond that he
remains lost looking for a place, both inside and outside of
himself, where he feels comfortable. Tommy is a drug addict who
needs recovery. Whether he follows the rules – something he is
not used to doing – and makes it is another story.
What
follows is a candid interview with a person that I am sure I
could become good friends with if the opportunity ever came
about. The real side of Skeoch is a good man with a creative
mind, a great sense of humor and an ability to look at things
from a totally unique point of view. In this interview Skeoch
gets honest about the meanings behind his solo album and the
reasons he is no longer in Tesla.
Enjoy the interview that follows and
check out an mp3 of Tommy's track "Liar Liar" by clicking
here. If you like
what you hear you can go to his
MySpace page to hear more
songs and purchase Freak Bucket.
Jeb: I have not seen you since you played at the Moondance Jam
two years ago.
Tommy:
I remember that show. How is Classic Rock Revisited going?
Jeb: It is going great. It is very busy. I am paying the bills
but not getting rich.
Tommy:
Good for you, man; that is awesome. Who is getting rich these
days? It is tough financially. You just try to make enough to
buy some cheeseburgers.
Jeb: I want to jump in and talk about your new album. This came
out of nowhere.
Tommy:
I left Tesla a couple years back and I thought about it right
afterwards but I had a new son. It was the first time I had been
home with any of my kids. I made the decision go be home with my
son. I kept playing for fun but I came up with these songs and I
decided that they would sound great on an album so I just did
it. It kind of just happened.
Jeb: I have noticed a few things on the packaging that are
really cool. In the credits you have red letters that spell out
a message. And on the back they spell out the name of the album
Freak Bucket.
Tommy:
There is a little bit of that and there is a hidden track on the
record. I threw those things in just for fun. I don't think you
see enough of that anymore. I always liked the entire package
with the artwork and everything. It is weird to think of
downloading songs without the cover. I grew up with that but if
I were in the younger generation I wouldn't think anything about
it.
There
is a pair of pants on fire on the back of the CD and the first
song is called
"Liar Liar" and the pants
are on fire. There is a part on the album where I talk about
smoking cigarettes and there is a picture of an ashtray. I just
did all that for fun.
Jeb: In the liner notes you thank everyone who has ever had to
put up with you - ever.
Tommy:
Totally! I am a fucking mess of a person. First off I am a total
drug addict - that kind of headspace is weird whether you are
clean or out there using. Thank God for my Wife as she has hung
in there with me and I am a fucking nut ball. I put that in as a
disclaimer to say if you have ever had to put up with me I am
really sorry.
Jeb: I love that you are so open about things.
Tommy:
I am open to a fault. I wear a lot of shit on my sleeve. It
helps me get out of myself because I am a really self-centered,
really fucked up person in my head. I have to get out of there
and to do that I have to get out of myself. I learned that from
12 Step programs because I have been in and out of those for
years. They teach you how to be a human being again.
Jeb: An addict by himself is in the worst company he can be in.
Tommy:
If I am by myself then I am fucked. If I didn't have a family
then I would probably be dead by now. You know me a little bit
and I am definitely off the handle. When I got my Wife it was a
little bit of having a leash put on me. Even Tesla to a certain
extent saved my life because I had to behave myself around those
guys. I was the wildcard and to do the job I had to be together.
They would always call me on my shit, so between my Wife and the
band, they kept me alive.
Jeb: Have you adjusted to not touring?
Tommy:
I miss entertaining and touring a little bit. I thought about
doing some club shows for this record. I talked about it in
other interviews but I think it is better for me to stay at
home. I am okay with it [not touring]. I have been touring my
whole life and I am kind of liking not having to get on
airplanes and tour busses all the time. I have accepted that
this is where I am right now.
Jeb: You are able to spend time at home with your family.
Tommy:
I think they were used to me leaving. It gave them a break from
this bipolar fucking freakiness. They have to deal with me a lot
more so I think it is a lot harder on them. I try to behave
myself now and, one day at a time, do the right thing.
Jeb: I put the album in and I cranked up the first track
"Liar Liar"
and right away I thought, "This is no Tesla record." It is very
emotional music.
Tommy:
It is very angry. I get the issues out on the table that I have
had inside me for a while. Musically it has developed over time.
The Freak Bucket record has grown over time. It is angry,
attitude rock. Lyrically, I pretty much talk about real
situations and real things.
Jeb: When you listen to the entire CD it takes you on a ride and
it almost wears you out.
Tommy:
Right on, dude, I like to hear that. For me it's a real
emotional record because I am talking about a lot of things that
are real about myself. I am glad you said that because that
means the message I am trying to get across is getting conveyed.
You are stepping inside of me for a second and I am not always
very comfortable in my skin and it is very tiring.
Jeb: I think you did a good job conveying the emotions of the
lyrics in the music. I love
"Liar Liar," "Hole in My Soul"
and "Garden." They are three very different sounding tracks.
Tommy:
"Hole in My Soul" is mellow but it has a lot of heavy emotion.
It basically is saying you are a lost motherfucker in this
world. A couple of tracks I had ten years ago. I had a couple of
the musical ideas for a while too but most of it was written in
the last year. A couple of the ideas I introduced to Tesla but
they never made it on the record. I would write songs for Tesla
and Jeff would either write lyrics to them or he wouldn't.
Jeb: Were you ready to just spew all of this out?
Tommy:
I just sat down and thought how the music makes me feel and
usually it is about negative fucking shit. I would just start
writing it. The process for me when it comes to writing songs
comes out naturally. When I have to put a lot of effort into it
and have to work on it a lot I tend to steer away from songs
like that because they tend to be contrived; they lose the
spontaneity and energy. In Telsa, we would spend two years on
some songs and they turned out to be some of the best songs we
ever did. So it is not a rule for me but for this record doing
it on my own is just how I had to do it.
Jeb: Let's talk about the hidden track "Circus Circus.” It
seems to talk about a former band.
Tommy:
You can read a lot into that track. They guy who helped me do
the packaging heard that song and thought it was poetic genius.
I think it is a great song and it kind of lays it all out there.
Instead of a rock band it is about a circus. The bearded lady is
about heroin. There are a lot of euphoniums. I didn't want the
song to alienate Tesla fans. I didn't want to blatantly put it
on there and make people think, "that motherfucker is angry
about Tesla." There are some issues between me and Telsa but I
live with it and I am okay about it. Basically I wrote a song
about it and that is all there is to it. When you heard the song
you got it right away?
Jeb: Oh I got it.
Tommy:
See, it is kind of cool like that. I have nothing against Tesla.
They did what they had to do and I had to do what I had to do.
Believe me, I have responsibilities for a lot of the shit in
Tesla. We all had problems but I take responsibility for my
part. I'm not perfect.
Jeb: We have to talk about the riff in
"Liar Liar."
Tommy:
I love that riff too. Basically, I am a lying, manipulative
fucking drug addict and that is what it is about. It is
basically about somebody who is caught in active addiction as
they are all liars and they are very manipulative. It is about
me when I am really sick.
Jeb: Does the order of the track listing tell a story? It seems
to go through from active addiction to trying to be sober.
Tommy:
It wasn't intentional at first but I started seeing that when I
put the sequence together. It turned into that from me just
noticing like you did. When I saw that I switched the order of
songs to convey that.
Jeb: This is almost a work of art in a way. It is much more than
just a CD. The themes and the music and lyrics really paint a
scenery.
Tommy:
That is awesome that you say that. I really appreciate you
saying those words. I would rather people look at it that way,
as it is really a big part of me. Tesla never was. Tesla is a
part of me but it is five guys collectively. This is just me and
I am putting myself out there on a limb and for you to take it
as a piece of art is beautiful.
Jeb: You use about a million different guitar tones on this as
well.
Tommy:
I used some Strats, some Telecasters, some Les Pauls and a lot
of unmodified Marshalls and a lot of modified Marshalls. I even
used some acoustic guitars on it. There are a lot of different
tones on the album.
Jeb: If I have one criticism it would be that you didn't rip
enough guitar solos.
Tommy:
That was something thought out. I don't like to overdue it. I am
not like Frank Hannon in Telsa who is a very self-indulgent
guitar player. I will be the first to say that Frank is a very
talented musician but solos can be very self-indulgent. I get
fucking bored with them. I try to make it speak when it is time
to speak and just give you a little bit where you have to go
back and listen some more. That is what that is all about. You
really read into it perfectly. You get it.
Jeb: I have been listening to this CD a lot. It is something
very different.
Tommy:
It is a special little thing. It really is something for Tesla
fans that know something about that band and follow the Tesla
story. I think they get a good insight to individual members of
the band and they also get insight into what it is like being in
that band. I don't lay it out specifically in the lyrics. I beat
around it a little bit but you get the general idea when you
listen to it.
Jeb: The last time we talked I felt really bad for you. You guys
rolled in about eight in the morning. You were a miserable son
of a bitch.
Tommy:
I really was. At the time I was totally cleaned up and had just
gotten off smack. Anytime you have been on smack for a long time
and stop then it is like stopping breathing; it is a difficult
thing to do. I remember that show and it was pretty good. The
crowd was fantastic. Even when I am miserable and stewing in my
shit I can get on stage and do the job.
I have
been in and out of recovery for a long time and it is easy to
forget about the misery. Addicts are not very smart. We are very
intelligent but it takes us a while to learn stuff. I am finally
figuring out that I have to work the recovery program in order
to get better. I am finally learning that it will actually make
me feel better.
Jeb: When we scheduled this interview I was wondering if you
were doing good or if you were all fucked up.
Tommy:
While I was doing the record I was doing a lot of crazy shit.
The thing is that I have been around recovery since 1995 so I
have a good awareness of what it is all about. Once you open
that can of worms you can't deny it - even it you go back out
and start doing drugs then you know where you have got to head
back to.
Jeb: Do you want me to leave this out of the interview?
Tommy:
I don't care. I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. If I am
talking then it is open season. Whatever makes a good interview
that you are happy with, as long as it is the truth, then
whatever.
Jeb: I have been in recovery for nearly twenty-one years and I
remember the old days when I got clean someone told me that
rehab was going to fuck up my using. They were right.
Tommy:
It does. You start thinking about the shit that you know to be
true and you say, "Fuck." A good addict will get into denial and
ignore that shit. I get into some dysfunctional shit. I pick up
the smack and tell myself that I am fine and that I just want to
feel good. I get comfortable in my own skin until I get hooked
and then I have to chase it down just to feel good and then I am
like "Fuck this! Help me." Then there is no denying it anymore
because it is right in your face.
Jeb: You’re lucky to still have your wits about you.
Tommy:
My mind is not totally melted I don't think. I am okay and I am
back in recovery now. I am trying to do it right. It takes what
it takes to get it right. Whatever that journey has been for me
has taken me to this spot in my life and I am okay with that.
Jeb: I hate to admit this but I think most addicts are really
spoiled.
Tommy:
You want what you want when you want it. Dude, that is how I
operate. I have to put down my sword and shield and that is what
I am doing. It is hard to do but you have to do it. I have never
had more than a year clean since I was twelve years old. I don't
know myself that well. I am still a little boy inside; I haven't
grown up as a man. My body has grown up but my brain is still
back in 1979.
Jeb: I notice that your CD is not affiliated with a label. Are
you looking for a deal?
Tommy:
I thought about trying to get a deal but they are going to want
me to go out and tour and I am just not ready to do that. I just
threw it on my MySpace to see how it did. We only ordered a
thousand copies upfront and they are almost half gone. It has
only been out three months or so. I think that is pretty good
considering how we went about it. If it keeps going like it is
then I will have to order another thousand. Basically the Tesla
fans are buying it and that is great. I have made enough to pay
for it and have a couple of bucks left over and that is
basically all I am trying to do; just have some fun.
Jeb: That is almost without ego. Everyone wants to be the big
deal.
Tommy:
It is art and creativity. It is fun and if I can make a couple
of bucks off of it and feed my family a few hamburgers then it
is all good.
Jeb: When you were out on the road you were always buying
guitars so you have to be saving a fortune being at home.
Tommy:
I'm not making as much money as I was so I have not been buying
any. Buying guitars and amps was part of my addiction. I would
do that shit to try and make myself feel better. It is not like
I need any more guitars, for fuck'sake, I have enough. I would
see a Les Paul and think, "That looks different than the other
twenty I have got so I need it."
Jeb: What really happened to make you leave Tesla?
Tommy:
Those guys were getting sick of me relapsing. It was not like I
wasn't doing my fucking job. When we were on the road I was
clean and I would do the shows clean. Sometimes after the show I
would get fucked up a little bit and they got sick of that. I
got sick of them policing me. There got to be a lot of bad blood
but most of that is my fault. They would not have been like that
if I was not getting fucked up. I am not supposed to talk about
it too much because we did a settlement. I think they want me to
think - to make me look better and to make them look better -
that I just wanted to be with my family but there is a lot more
to it than that, honestly.
Jeb: Have you accepted not being in Tesla?
Tommy:
There is so much dysfunction in that band, dude. If I was still
back in that band then I would probably still be doing dope.
Everyone thinks Tesla is such a good vibe and is all 'happy
happy joy joy' but you know what? There is a lot of dysfunction,
ego shit and bullshit. You know why? Because we are dealing with
humans. It is not just Tesla it is any business entity but in
bands people get really full of themselves. For me it was like
getting out of jail. They talked about it and I was like, "I get
it. I am out of here." I couldn't deal with their personalities.
It is not their fault that I would get high but it wasn't
conducive to being together and being right. There was a lot of
fucked up shit. There was a lot of hypocrisy. They would do shit
that was fucked up and they would say, "You're fucked up." I
would say, "Look what you just did over there and you are
clean." It was the kind of shit that I just don't want to deal
with in my life anymore. I will never say never. Maybe sometime
we will get back together, I don't know. But right now I am okay
with everything.
Jeb: Do you stay in touch with them or has it been a total
divorce?
Tommy:
Jeff and I have always been pretty tight so I talk to him now
and then. We just kind of have small talk. He talked about
re-releasing the Bar 7 record. We talk and that is about it. The
other guys have not called me up and I have not called them. So
be it. I have some issues with some of the other guys. Jeff has
a real great heart and he is a genuine guy. He means well and I
love Jeff but I can't say that about some of the other guys.
Jeb: I can't believe you don't miss being on stage and being a
rock star.
Tommy:
Not really but then again I was still out there using. Maybe if
I stay clean for a while then I will mourn Tesla. It has not
happened yet but maybe there will be a time when I think about
Tesla and put the whole thing in its place. Maybe that is
something I need to do; I don't know. I can't say that I have
gone through a transition period; I just stopped doing it. I
started teaching lessons out here and I have made records and
helped other bands. I am still working. It is just the way it
is. It is a good life. I do four or five lessons a day and it is
good money. It is good for me.
Jeb: Is there a slight chance that Tommy is growing up?
Tommy:
I think it is starting to happen - just slightly.
Jeb: What is a Freak Bucket?
Tommy:
It is how I look at people and how I look at myself. People are
just so weird. The way people are and the way they operate makes
them freaks. It is just another name for humans. A friend of
mine said that a couple years ago. He said, "Those guys are
fucking freak buckets" and I just liked it so I used it for the
record.
Jeb: Tell me about the song "Swear to God."
Tommy:
It is about a guy struggling with there being a higher power. I
don't really believe in God but I do believe in something more
powerful than myself. The song is just saying that I don't
believe there is a guy in white robe that lives up in the
clouds.
Jeb: It sounds like you are on the right track.
Tommy:
Just making this record was fun. I love playing live and I
probably will at some point but right now I am just living for
today and talking to you and I am comfortable with that. After
this I will do a lesson with a friend of mine. I take it one
hour at a time.
Jeb: Did you ever become a 'rock star.'
Tommy:
Early on when we started making records I did. I was really full
of myself and my ego was too big. I don't think that way anymore
at all. I think the whole infatuation people have with bands
sickens me. It really turns me off and it always has. God bless
our fans, I love them because they have made my living but it
always turned me off when they would get all fucking freaked out
when you walk out of a door. I can't get with that - it is hard.
It is weird. In the early days that is what I was shooting for -
to be a big rock star. Once you take it all in then it is pretty
weird. People are all infatuated with you and it makes you feel
really weird. I don't have to do that anymore and I don't do it.
Some of the people at my daughter's school know where I came
from and they go, "That guy is a rock star" but I don't take any
stock in it.
Jeb: It sounds like that before you even had success in Tesla
that you were a pretty scrambled individual.
Tommy:
Oh yeah. Dude, I was a scared little boy before I ever started
doing drugs and I think that is why I started doing them. I was
trying to figure out who I really was.
Jeb: You can't blame your addiction on being famous and living
in the fast lane.
Tommy:
No, man. If anything I went into Tesla and corrupted those
motherfuckers.
Jeb: I would like to see you continue with music and keep
writing.
Tommy:
I think Freak Bucket is a great record. I really am
trying to get the word out there. It is a nice little punk
record that I did in four days. It was a fun thing to do but for
whatever reason it came out cool. I really think Telsa fans will
appreciate it.
Jeb: You play some acoustic on this. Have you thought about
doing more songs like that?
Tommy:
As a matter of fact I have been writing songs that are very folk
oriented. I have even thought about doing an entire acoustic
record. I have a song that is called "The Junkies on the Monkey"
and another one called "I'm Too Crazy For You" that are really
more acoustic pop songs. In Tesla we worked a lot on putting
acoustics with electrics and it is actually harder to do than
people think. When you are a guitar player playing an acoustic
then the instrument becomes a percussion instrument and your
timing has to be perfect. The acoustic is actually a much harder
instrument to play. You have to have the acoustic on the right
songs. We didn't just throw acoustics over a metal song. It
really depends on the song.
Jeb: It is nice to talk to you and have you not be all fucked up
emotionally like you were the last time I saw you. You
were not happy in your own skin.
Tommy:
I wasn't. I was not happy with Tesla and I was about ready to
walk or have them tell me to walk.
Jeb: It is sad that it has to be that way.
Tommy:
I will say that Troy is a great guy and a great drummer. Frank
is an amazing guitar player and Jeff is a great singer. I don't
say anything about Brian.
Jeb: That is loud and clear.
Tommy:
I am just not going to say a thing about him. I am just glad to
have the record out and be living my life.
Visit Tommy
online at
MySpace and purchase
Freak Bucket
Listen to "Liar Liar"
Send feedback here
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